Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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