We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
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She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
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Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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