Nicole vs. Life
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
