DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You've changed since you got that strap on
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
