How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
two words: eviction party
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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