nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
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i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
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I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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