I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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