When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
