eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
