So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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