Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Randomize
