tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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