this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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