After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
