my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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