apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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