Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
