the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
The air was thick with penises
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My dick has a subreddit
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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