So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
