When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alive.
So much puke
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize