My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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