I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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