I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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