He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
