i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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