I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
