You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
