Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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