I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
