Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
