whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
