What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
