I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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