this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
