and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
