I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
