So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
