Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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