I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
