doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
