my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
