my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
