I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
