Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
