Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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