Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
