What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We left the knife in your bed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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