Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
