i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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