did you get engaged???
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
