the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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