Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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