I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
