Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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