Jerry, you need to find god
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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