Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
