when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Randomize
