that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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