i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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