JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
