Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
