Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
no you cant smoke seaweed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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