i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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