i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
