Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Randomize
