He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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