all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
